And then I started college/uni.

The late-nights that was required of me (yes, I would sleep early rise early IF I COULD) deteriorated my health. So badly, that it takes days to a week now for me to recover from flu/cough.

Also, I blame the stress and sleepless nights that speed up my body’s aging process!!! Last Saturday I was in Mid Valley with Jade and we walked for about 3 hours and needed to sit our arses down to rest…… Gone were the days when we were roaming KL from morning till night! We used to do that! Just Jade and I, in KL. We’d be hunting high and low for things and mall hopping! I remember taking the trains and walking up and down. Times Square to KL Plaza to Pavilion! Where did all the energy go?

Sometimes I forget that I’m no longer 18, other times I remember that I’m older than my age. I confuse me.

I fear for my health when I start working. Please, give me enough rest.

Side note: I’ll try to wear more colours this year, and probably patterns too!

(I was pointing to my shoes because it got dirty after previous night’s drizzle…)

headband Burberry EU
cardigan Nautica
skirt CK
tights Topshop UK
shoes Dr Martens UK
canvas bag Marks & Spencer

(I’m really thankful for all the classic pieces I got from my aunt when I was in secondary school because they lasts for years! Decades too, probably. Paid for quality.)

Returning was aghast! I was hit in the face with such strange foreign feelings upon the familiarity. The world didn’t look the same way it did. Some roads changed in Subang that almost got me killed, I kid you not!

Maybe I just have travel withdrawal syndrome…

AND I really miss Dan.

Dan and I are pretty independent on our own with thousands of miles between us since last year. We can get by without communicating much but we do leave each other many notes and messages here and there. Nevertheless, I really look forward to time spent with him, every time. There will be something new for us every day; new memories.

Even little things like running home to keep ice-cream from melting, sitting at the playground, going new places, eating new food, cooking together, complaining about one another’s bad habits HAHA or just ranting about our days. All precious! Life becomes so much more personified, so much more to learn, so much more room for myself to grow when I spend it with Dan. I truly think we are soulmates! *SHY*

There’s just so many reasons to love him and so much he does that makes me fall for him again and again. Am glad I can run into his arms again in just a couple of days!

shirt UNIQLO
shorts Cotton On AU
belt vintage
polka dots socks UNIQLO
boots Dr Martens UK
bucket bag vintage
ribbon watch Aldo
pearl bracelet Myanmar

Polaroid templates are my Daily Dress X IROCKSOWHAT! She is uber cool. She inspires me to mess around with Adobe more and do more graphic artworks.

///

OK I underestimated my sickness, I am going to hit the sack soon. I’m actually having a pretty severe gut-flipping cough; hopefully it will go away in 24 hours!

I’ve so far dined there twice; once with Ida and another time with Marcus and SW.

Before recently, I’ve only been to Fat Spoon for take-away desserts, twice extremely short whiles. I hadn’t taken a good look at the uniqueness of the place, but my initial impression was that it’s A LOT of effort to dig and put together the vintage furniture and designs that Fat Spoon encompasses. So detailed.
The chalkboard’s use was smart because it keeps one side of the wall filled, but I thought opposing it, the white walls were a bit bare. It could use some smaller artworks surrounding the large one that they already have.

#1 Latte

#2 Capp

#3 Fat Spoon uses R.A.W. Coffee Roast of R.A.W. (Malaysia).

I’ve had their 3/4 latte previously and thought the depth of the taste was really spot on. So was the temperature. It tasted very dark and alluring and the aftertaste was light and dreamy.

A regular latte on the other hand was creamy all the way and was a lot lighter generally with the greater amount of milk. I felt that the ‘kick’ of espresso wasn’t strong enough with a regular. Although the difference was distinct, I could do with either but I just prefer a 3/4.

Another detail, petty but extremely important to me:
One trait that I really liked was that the grinding only began after I ordered. Some cafés grind till it’s full and leave the ground coffee oxidized and lose its freshly ground coffee aroma! Worse yet, I have seen a café use the same puck for a few to many rounds… *shudders*

-______-

#4 Iced choc

#5 Popiah with OJ in the background

#6 Fat Spoon noodles

#7 Ulam fried rice

#8 Claypot lou shu fan

#9 Tangy beef noodles

AND THEN.

The one dish that was mentioned endlessly by a few people who knew that I would have just loooooved it at first sniffle, and I did:

#10 Cempedak popiah with vanilla ice-cream

#11 I think this dish inspires me the most. Not because I like the fruit per se. To taste it the way I did, it was really rewarding.

Sometimes I see/taste things that I used to like very much but gradually not having the chance to anymore, and remember all over again the other things that I used to love when I was a child. Maybe it’s the natural hint of durian that cempedak brings that reminded me of how Dad used to randomly bring back half a dozen of durians to Mom’s and my pleasant surprise (Sis was still a baby, so we had a bigger share). We’d just enjoy to our hearts’ content as soon as Dad tears the husks apart. Once in a blue moon, there’d also be cempedak or nangka (by the way, both different familia with durian).

Fat Spoon evokes some kind of longed childhood love that I’ve slowly come to forget over the years of busy ‘growing up’, and since the urban migration to KL. It makes me reminisce my childhood in Ipoh with those vintage furniture, especially. I think frequenting Fat Spoon made me miss Ma Ma’s old cabinets where I used to pinch unfinished lunch that was meant for dinner.

If I lived nearby, I would visit everyday! For the cempedak popiah and a good cuppa.
Or two.
Or ten.

#12


FAT SPOON, DAMANSARA UPTOWN
73 Jalan SS21/1A
Damansara Utama 47400
Petaling Jaya SEL
Malaysia
+60 3 7728 3323
Site & Twitter

Opening hours:
CLOSED ON MONDAYS
Tuesdays to Thursdays 12pm-3pm, 5pm-10pm
Fridays to Sundays 12pm-10pm

Some time ago, when I worked at this business news firm, I would occasionally lunch with an elder cousin whose workplace is really close by, and another time with two of my cousins, too. It felt surreal to them that I was working. What does this pampered little girl has got to contribute to this dog-eat-dog society? All bright eyed and bushy tailed.

People can forget to age. They live in this perpetual déjà vu where the mind plays the same broken tape and the pain and pride that comes with the memories stir their everyday lives, overwhelming the present. They become unreasonable, and that, by the traditional culture is tolerable. I wonder if I will grow old to become the person that I cannot tolerate today, in decades to come.

A pat on the shoulder and a little taken aback, 三伯娘 mistaken me for a teen, still. I’m not the same person as I was in my teen. Heck, I’m not even the same person as I was last year. I’ve learned that it isn’t about the numbers that adds to my age, but the mentality that makes me really my own person. And the plans I have for myself.

一不为名，二不为利。只要自己开心就夠。

#1 Pinching food bits before the reunion dinner!

#2 iPad well-utilised by everyone.

#3 Favourite dish of all time…

#4

#5 We played a 汤圆 game hahaha. Only TWO out of the X number of them are filled with peanuts. Everyone in the family put in an amount of money and the person(s) to get the ones filled with peanuts will get (and/or split) the grand prize! It wasn’t me! but truthfully, it was so much fun and so much suspense!!! :p

#6

#7

#8 Everyday after dinner time, Dad brings Mom, Sis and I to Ipoh Garden (which is relatively far from grandma’s house) for ais kacang.

#9 First game/win of 麻雀 this year! 大三元 alright! Also played Rummy till late nights.

#10 A place so close-knit, yet still so much to be discovered.

Lepak session turned to cleaning session! because I’m an ass a Monica Geller!
which shouldn’t really surprise those close to me…

My hands itch to put things back to places where they BELONG.
Coordinated.
Aligned.

I confess that there are many times I’ve been to friends’ houses and I feel irked to the bones because the frames are not parallel, clothes are not colour-coordinated, the books are not shelved according to size.
YOU KNOW. These things. Drive me crazy!

And once, I tried to NOT fix Dan’s misspelled label on iPod Touch and I was so mad the next time I saw him. I ransack his pockets for the iPod and!!!!!

………centralised the label. BIG SIGH OF RELIEF! Sometimes, I really can’t sleep knowing things like these.

Side note: I still think Friends is one of the BEST TV Series to date. My new current favourite, and apparently many others too, is New Girl starring Zooey.

After cleaning was (sort of) done, we went to the park! The first park I’ve been since homecoming and I really miss how there are patches of grasses ANYWHERE in Melbourne that I can picnic at…

striped t-shirt Zara
green pinafore vintage
leather belt vintage
watch Casio US
bucket bag vintage
shoes Dr Martens UK
socks UNIQLO

Today is lunar new year eve and there’s lots of prepping to do for the reunion dinner. My family initially planned to eat out but prices skyrocketed (X3) for the holiday. Not only does the quality of food decline due to the rushing, so do the services – each table will be given a time frame to finish the meal so that the next booking can be seated in time, and repeat.

So I’m really glad we’re having it home. The prepping time also gives opportunity for everyone to catch up. Ka Che, you are missed!

Some friends I met up with in the past few days (photos sans Lucy, Marcus & Rahul):

#1 Lester

#2 Ayane

#3 Jade

#4 Ida

Note how three out of four of them are caught with a gadget when I photographed them. I do the same sometimes but I’d try not to. This year, I will try to actually talk more with people in reality than just social networking mediums.

Apparently, I’m also trying a lot of new things this year. Wish me luck!

But first, I need to adjust my sleeping hours back to GMT+8. I’ve been sleeping napping at odd hours and I feel more exhausted than before I nap every time. I need to sleep, not nap! So bye-bye now!

P/S I got a new hair cut. It’s been quite a LONG while since I had bangs. Taken some photos since…I look like myself but I don’t look like myself. #IdentityCrisis

NGO, PTAs to educate parents, oppose ‘free and perverse sex’.

I have so much to say but this matter is so offensive and condescending on so many levels, I am not sure where to start. Maybe I will begin by saying I feel violated and afraid for the young parents and children in school as I could not take anything out of the excerpt beyond its reference to homosexuality.

“You are not gay, why are you offended?”

Although I am not a subject of discrimination, I do feel threatened knowing that there are people in my surroundings who do not care or who will simply allow victims of discrimination suffer the deprivation of their rights. I disagree with many things the Malaysian authorities do and don’t do mainly because they give the façade of consistency with the Universal Declaration of Human Rights (UDHR) while implying the direct opposite with regard to various groups and organisations. Life is definitely harder for freedom fighters, as we have recently witnessed with the banning of Seksualiti Merdeka.

Are we teaching students what they need to know? | Photo by © Michelle Visuals

The absence of sex education in Malaysia has also made many fearful of the unknown. The first step is to understand the matter and keep conversations of such topics going so that people do not hate blindly. Right now, we judge too quickly. We label, we stereotype, we discriminate. Malaysia has languished in her adolescence for far too long; now is the time to grow up. Members of the Rakyat who cannot accept those different from them need to broaden their horizons because they are not the only ones living on this planet. Why ruin people’s lives with such labelling and stereotyping?

With all this hate in our society, how can we tackle the larger problems we face on a daily basis? How can we maturely solve with open minds, issues like the increasing income gap among Malaysians? Climate-changing deforestation? Unwanted pregnancies, teenage pregnancies and baby dumping? Or truancy at schools? How will we be able to take on the incidences of miseducation in our schools? Political chaos? Restrictions on our freedom of speech? (There’s more, of course; just ask!)

Why do we imprison with our narrow minds those who are different? | Photo by © Colin Boyd Shafer Photography

To be honest, I was only exposed to LGBTiQ in my last year of secondary school. A girl who always sat in front of me in my tuition class confided in me one day regarding her sexuality. I avoided her for two weeks after that episode but felt like I had killed someone on the inside. Was I homophobic? I did not know as I had never understood it. Never in my life before had I come across a conversation concerning LGBTiQ because it had always been taboo at school. So I just did not know what to say or how to react correctly. I only remember it being talked about in class once – just once over the 11 years of public schooling I had received. But even so, the teacher had tried to quickly change the subject, saying that supporting a gay lifestyle was ‘devil’s thinking’ (Bahasa Melayu: Pemikiran syaitan). It is really a shame that Malaysian public schools do not provide Sex Education as a subject.

I eventually spoke to the girl at the park near our tuition class and I had so many questions! It was so liberating to be able to talk about it without someone suggesting I should go for psychiatric sessions. I was not close to her at all before but we were on good terms. She had confided in me because she had really needed someone – anyone – to listen to her, that was all.

Right now, she is now in another part of the world on a partial scholarship. But I know she is still struggling because of her family’s firm rooting in cultural traditions, including the practice of arranged marriage. She came out of the closet (so to speak) with her parents early last year and her father has not spoken to her since. In fact, it has become known to me that her family will not pay for her visits back here unless she vows to ‘reorientate her sexuality and marry a man they choose for her’. Further, they have even given her an expiration date for that ‘deal’.

“Gay people should expect harassment when they turn gay.”

This is a big slap to all civil movements. This line is to gays as “Females should expect to be sexualised because they are female” is to females and “The poor should expect to be exploited because they are poor and therefore have no power!” is to the less fortunate.

The first Article of UDHR states:

“All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights”.

So why should they expect to be abused physically, emotionally, and psychologically? Why should gays suffer the inhumane treatment they receive for their sexuality? Do we Malaysians democratically approve of such ill treatment ? If you do not approve, and if Malaysia continues to steer towards democracy, I believe we can stop accepting such inequality by voicing out our opinions.

In the article (you know, the one that kept me from sleeping soundly), the offending excerpt continues with this statement: “[Malaysia] is an Islamic country and we cannot compromise on this”. Hold your horses, Encik Azwanddin Hamzah, President of Pertubuhan Jaringan Melayu Malaysia (JMM) – is Malaysia constitutionally an Islamic country? Below, Art Harun, prominent lawyer, defines Article 3 of the Constitution (video courtesy of KS Tan):

As you can see, Article 3 of the Federal Constitution simply states that Islam shall be the religion of the Federation. That is all. Documents available from our historical archives affirm this. Despite that, many claim that Malaysia is actually an Islamic country, perhaps for their own self interests. Further, while history recognises the insertion of the provision that Islam is the religion of the Federation, the fact remains that Malaysia is a secular country. The record has to be set straight.

Gay Muslims speak out but at what cost? | Photo by © Colin Boyd Shafer Photography

“What are gay people good for?”

Gays are just like you and I. We are all people with dreams, fears and ambitions. (For a glimpse at just how regular gay people are, check out ‘My Gay Lifestyle‘ by Domenick Scudera.) As for the question of ‘good’ and ‘bad’, well, our being good or otherwise is not dependent on sexuality but principles which comes from nurturing. In my opinion, the argument is similar with religion. There can be both ‘good’ and ‘bad’ religious people, for instance. But it is not the religion itself that is good or bad. Ultimately it boils down to the individual.

Perhaps I have slightly biased opinions but I do feel (and hope) that the struggles and experiences of discrimination constantly faced by gays will translate into a stronger collective will to change things. They may also encourage more opinionated sharing when it comes to discussions and debates on issues, even sensitive ones. Hardship builds character, after all.

“I have no problem with gays, unless my child is one!”

When I read the article (you know which one by now), I thought of Eric James Borges immediately. Eric James was bullied throughout his life and disowned by his parents due to his sexual orientation. He succumbed to suicide last Wednesday. He was 19. The Trevor Project on which Eric James worked prior to his death, has statistics citing that LGBTiQ youths whose parents reject them for their sexuality are eight times more at risk of suicide compared to those whose parents accept them.

I have so many questions for parents, because I do not find rational, the parenting method promoted by JMM. In fact, I urge all mature adults and not just parents to reflect on the following questions:

Does the sexual orientation of your child changes the quality of the relationship between you and your child?
Shouldn’t parents be providing a safe environment in which their gay child can express him or herself freely without being judged?
Wouldn’t you rather see your children for who they are, and not masked pretenders who only want to please you to a point of self-destruction?

I cannot string up the words for a proper closure to this post, so I will borrow a poem from Taylor Mali (see video below):

Rest in Peace, Eric James. To all my fellow Malaysians, meanwhile, I would wish only this: that we continue the fight for a truly democratic nation. One whose peoples accept and respect Malaysians of different colour, creed and sexual orientation.



Originally written for LoyarBurok; published on 19 January 2012.

2. Since returning, I’ve been hoping to purchase some new tops/dresses. I have adopted a particular ‘feel’ towards some looks and tried looking for the colours/combinations in a few malls but the stores are really the same in the malls nearby.

3. I knew I had to go to UNIQLO because I saw the top I wanted on LOOKBOOK.NU and it was e-XACT-ly the touch of fabric I envisioned to go together with the cutting! LOVE IT. No regrets. Plus, discounted! The ‘short trip’ to ‘pick up some Uniqlo things’ turned out to be an almost full day and many……many items purchased. I’m even considering a shopping haul. I’m not sure how I feel about the DKNY dress because it was slightly pricey albeit big discount. But. SO. Comfy!!! & it’s the kind that’ll go well with anything… #WIN


1. After I met with Lester for about 15-20 minutes, I began my curatorship of Marcus’ fashion buys for the day. It was much fun and extremely fruitful in addition with SW’s assistance over BBM/calls hahaha. Men.

2. Lonely Planet Japan contributed by Lucy for my next (potential) destination (TBD by Ida 우우우) haha.

3. G’Day Iced Coffee @ delicious, which espresso tasted well but wasted by the quality of milk in the coffee. The small jug was sugar water(?) and tastes oddly unsweetened. (Did inflation affect the price of sugar by so much?) Apparently not for Marcus; ‘yum cha’ has been redefined in his books from instant coffee-condensed milk-water at the street sides to a cosy tearoom café tucked in between luxurious designer outlets. I’ve only been away for a while. A while… Rad, is it not?


Break in between because I fell asleep!

1. Dan is flying to Korea for KNY. He’ll be back for a bit before returning to Melbourne once again!

2. I took the LRT today. So many things changed. The counter woman who used to always say “gi mana hari ni, dik?” at Bangsar isn’t working there anymore. When I worked at The Edge, I took the LRT daily and she always smiled at me with that awkward but friendly gap between her front teeth. & just because I didn’t get to say it today: “mana lagi? Stesen Kelana Jaya, kak!”

3. As I rode towards the end of these tracks…suddenly, the route looks so different from what I remembered. I was looking out the glass like I was seeing them for the first time. The rays of sun shone so brightly, as if giving strength and blessing to the homes and businesses it touched. Malaysia has so much potential, without doubt.

The morning of my departure was a blur of rushing and waiting and more rushing. It was too abrupt, and checking in was such a pain! People should really pack their luggage properly at home… We only managed a sloppy Subway sandwich 15 minutes before I boarded.

#1 The entrée! The high-ceiling made the entire place very airy and grand though it didn’t feel spacious but I suspect that is due to the furniture and lighting. The place was actually big! The interior was sectioned to be very different; a little something for everyone.

#2 Communal tables available in the center of St Ali.

#3

#4 Costa Rican latte, which was really silk-smooth. The aftertaste tasted exactly the same as the drink itself on my palate.
It had never happened before and my face after the first sip was

#5 Dan and I both thought the frothing was genius rare! Just silky smooth. We were trying to spot for micro bubbles haha.

#6 Opposing a communal table as in #2 is personal spaces at little corners.

#7 One side of the café is filled with natural light,

#8 while the other has more indoor feel to it.

#9 The real ‘open’ outdoor, if you prefer it.

#10 Had a Colombian latte on another day.

#11 Dan’s strong Colombian flat white. On contrary to what I thought, I liked the regular one better between these two. The strong one tasted very overwhelming and it had a tinge of bitterness 3/4 way through the cup.

Their smoked eel salad was SMASHING! The pork belly salad was equally good. The St Ali spicy sausage dish was also WA-LAH! Totally forgotten about photos once it found its way to the table; tummy was already drumming. I forgotten the exact names to the dishes but reading the menu with funny names and quirky descriptions made me laugh.

#12 Will visit when I get my arse back to Melbourne some day soon!


ST ALI, SOUTH MELBOURNE
12-18 Yarra Place
South Melbourne VIC 3205
Australia
+61 3 9686 2990
Site & Twitter

Opening hours:
EVERYDAY! 7am-6pm and occasionally late

Slowly opening my eyes, and ears, to the pilot saying something regarding drug/human trafficking. Did I really leave? Was the long queues but a nightmare? But there was no proper goodbye. This is just a dream. I fell back till that bumpy touch down.
The eighth hour becomes the ninth and the ninth the tenth. Everything seemed hauled.

Homecoming after a solid nine weeks, everything abruptly seems so harsh. The sun, the air, the sounds. The emptiness.

Even if Dan and I have been doing an LDR for long enough and we’re pretty independent on our own, spending every day of the last two months together had me forget how loneliness tastes.
Even when we were doing pointless things of our own, we were doing pointless things of our own together. It’s a pleasant surprise when one is interested in another’s pointless things of our own and then it becomes ‘our things’ instead.

#1 Caulfield Racecourse

#2 Glen Huntly Park

#3 North Brighton alleyway


What I’m really trying to say is that I miss us. You are my sunshine.