Truth is that I’d go miles for people, friend or not, if it’d make them OK, and I have. I take too many unnecessary steps, I am told. But the world has too many stories untold, words unspoken, actions not taken, and truths kept secrets. Regardless good or bad -the stories, the words, the actions, the truths- I want to bare all and in stark honesty, be your friend, fall in love with your charm and vices, muse on your wise words, laugh at our silliness, and be able to say happy goodbyes because we will do it again anyway.

New photos I took over the week:

…while slaving for assignments/work. Too much happening, all at once. Woe is me.

P/S: Happy birthday to Am.

The trend seems to still apply after two years later.

So I’ve been dealing with a lot of post-breakup people as of late, who’ve just recently began to accept the cold truth; some are bittersweet, others are purely bitter. I’m inept at thinking on the bright side. In fact, the words I am equipped with for these situations are more like How To Be Kind To Yourself First survival guides. My main objective is to tell people to be selfish for the betterment of everybody.

After long hours of persuading them to be a tougher person, I muse on the obvious unanswerable questions. Can we fall in love with two persons at the same time? Can we accept to be one of the two (or more)? Why did she only leave after they bought the engagement ring together? How does one wipe out emotional attachments of a years-long relationship like a Delete Permanently button? Sex life Vs. love life?

How should one feel? but no one should be told how they should feel. Just be.

Meanwhile, my daily consumption of caffeine has been increased.

Between lunch hour and work a couple of days ago, I played and sang to songs that I do not remember remembering, with Am. We sat in his cubicle and sang to our hearts’ content to songs by No Doubt, Fun., Green Day and Avenged Sevenfold. OK maybe not to our hearts’ content, but we mouthed words and drummed the desk. We made sure everyone within hearing distance can enjoy the songs we sang played too.

I called him sappy after browsing his iTunes, but in that list was music I used to be really attached to for the time I was attached to music, generally. I don’t enjoy music as often as I used to. When I am in silence, I can only imagine the things I need to check off the task lists. Sound of pencil striking through them one by one. Even when I have earphones plugged on, I just hear; I do not listen to them. What have I become. Man, give me a break.

Upon seeing Fazwan’s swollen left eye and bruised right face, I recalled the feeling of crying out in pain and force after being hit by the tear gas unexpectedly. Later, I saw Nunu’s injured lower spine and felt that same helplessness I was stirred into when sitting on the curb of Jalan Tuanku Abdul Rahman, recovering from the tear gas. Both Fazwan and Nunu were attacked by groups of policemen no less than half a dozen. My heart sunk knowing that authorities attacked farther after demonstrators were dispersing already.

Later, I returned to Masjid Jamek for a Sunday free-food distribution for the homeless and destitute. Walking these streets again felt like meeting an old friend. These walls have endured so much yesterday, I thought.

I was told that a local homeless person was hospitalised after a session of heavy assault by a group of eight policemen. He wore a t-shirt which he picked-up in a back alley, which just happened to be a BERSIH t-shirt, which people changed out of after the policemen went ape-shit at arresting everyone and anyone in yellow.

“They would only do this because they know it won’t make it to the newspapers,” said a foreigner who helped at the distribution. It is true.

More stories were shared, from the eyes and ears from within the Dataran Merdeka.

Reading stories from the internet about BERSIH is different from listening to stories on the streets. If you are reading this, you are literate, you possess a high-technology gadget and you have access to the internet. There are still many people from the streets who, like many of us, were scared shitless and terrified by the actions of the authorities yesterday. In fact, they see the abuse of power on more casual basis. However, they may not be privileged enough to be able to share their experiences.

One particular elderly homeless I met told me her story through hand signals. She can only speak very basic Cantonese such as “I went” and “Pain”. The rest of her stories were painted by her facial lines. She cannot string a proper sentence in her mother tongue, what more to understand why she is not entitled to her rights and who represents her in the Parliament. All she knows is that life goes on, and everyday is a new battle.

I go on social networking and news sites, and see the overflow of emotions -good and bad- about the BERSIH 3.0 protest. Some say that they are changed after the protest, and I hope everyone will continue to be more aware of national affairs because Malaysia is a democratic country and everybody needs to participate for it to be democratic.

We need change, and I believe I am witnessing progress.

Gliding past DBKL at 12.30pm Photo taken by @chanweiyan via Instagram

Why did a quarter million of Malaysians spend their Saturday on the roads when we are already sick and tired of traffic jams – are we not? Everyone went with a different level of understanding in regards to the demonstration.

I went for many reasons, but one that champions them all would be my parents. My parents do not agree with my participation in such ‘sensitive issues’, just like all parents do. “You will get hurt,” they say. And I did. But I know from their tone that they are secretly proud of me.

A friend texted me “Fearless!” after finding out that I was at Dataran Merdeka during noon. No, I was fearful. I fear for my country being unsafe for my loved ones to stay in; I fear that my parents will not be able to wait for proper healthcare when needed, I fear that my younger sister will become propagated rather than educated in school, I fear my generation of youth now will ‘grow up’ to be mid-life boys and girls, I fear if Malaysian working culture has no ethics and I will be exploited, I fear that our representatives in Parliament prioritize foreign investments more than it does us, and I fear that people will ‘be okay’ about benefitting from another’s loss.

DIY poster for BERSIH3.0 Photographed by @chanweiyan via Instagram

The demonstration yesterday turned sour, but the eight BERSIH demands for clean and fair election is not refusable. We need change in the system for the betterment of our socio-economic wellbeing as a nation. Before I started to walk from KLCC towards Dataran Merdeka, a foreigner ask me,“What is the relevance of fancy tourist attractions (he referred to the Petronas Twin Towers) if people are subject to the travesty of justice?”

Good question.

Originally written for LoyarBurok; published on 30 April 2012.

Here is a recent photo of me in university that actually doesn’t make me look like an education slave (YAY SUCCESS):

polka dots collared dress Cotton On AU
shoes Paul Smith UK
thigh-high socks MUJI MY
headband Khao San THAILAND

I’m into grains lately which makes my post-processed photographs look like such. Also got the Japanese bug because Ida recently returned from the Tokyo trip we were supposed to go together.

There, there… Have some sashimi, Michelle.

Hm speaking of bugs, I’ve gotten the fitness bug going again. Eating a lot of homecooked food and clocking into the gym more frequently. Yay me.

Except for the fact that I should really be attending to the growing pile of part-time design work and assignments instead. And that I actually have so much ideas for but it kept on getting stomped on by the lecturer to the point where I just have so little feelings for my assignment anymore.

Note: assignments, not subject. I’m passionate about my subjects, I just feel that it will be wasted on the assignment which will not be evaluated justly. And I keep forgetting how this person is so temporary.

This upcoming week will require some painstaking effort.

P/S:

I also call Q, Bugs, because when we were in Christina’s Adv Math classes, we coincidentally wore LOONEY TUNES characters’ t-shirts to class and we had been close since. United by cartoon characters! HAHA anyway Bugs left (again) for UK two nights ago. He is the only CPU friend I managed to keep close after graduation.

[Note: I was very much loved as a child by my parents and am fortunate that we managed to stay that way until now. Mom majored in child's development studies, so I am also very interested in this subject of interest. It fascinates me to no end till this day.]

I was on the stepper today, at the Fitness, and my iPod shuffled to this song…this song which three years ago, I learned every curve of the tone and every instrument to every chord.

Most of the people whom I knew thought the song Because of You by Kelly Clarkson (2005) was about the loss of a young romantic relationship that led to all the dysfunction in later relationships. Oh, au contraire. Clarkson wrote this song at 16 whilst struggling with her parents’ divorce. Because of You was a song that explored the damage of the absence of parental love on a child’s development.

I played the song definitely more than 700 times on my iTunes alone to immerse myself into the words when I was working on the analysis. And because it was for a lit analysis, I dissected the song quite thoroughly and felt pretty low for my many friends who resonate with the lyrics so befittingly.

More friends came out to me so suddenly as from troubled families and I thought it was alarming but looking back, I’d say that I was only becoming less ignorant. I’m told I have a flair for wording emotions and asking difficult questions. And so they pour. To date, I have had played the role of a mediator more than a dozen times, bridging parent-child relationships. Frankly, I am bloody proud of this. I am. Not all relationships are fully-reconciled but I consider these far greater achievements than education and work can ever give, what more satisfaction.

Aced my analysis. I was in no doubt that I put a great one out there that day, because I made my lecturer cry. Glassy eyes followed by streams down her cheekbones. The choice of lit was also inspired by her; her honesty about her personal troubles that she allows us to discuss in class. A great fin to the semester, it was.

It is always when we fight for our passion, we win.

So I was labelled as naïve and there were only three labels: (1) naïve, (2) humane, and (3) ignorant. I thought it was through-and-through unjust to say any of those to anyone at all and I now conclude that the survey was utterly useless altogether. It is disappointing that people actually designed surveys to gauge how ‘humane’ someone is. Why? Why would any one want to do such a thing? Does labeling one ignorant or naïve makes the other more…humane?

The description of my label (naïve) can be summed up to be: ‘too helpful and too honest’. According to the tactful surveyor, ‘humane’ ran along the line of always second-guessing and puts self above all else. ‘Ignorant’ meant for deliberate wrongdoings, on good people, knowingly.

What are you? What do you want to be?

I want to be helpful and I want to be honest. I assure you, however, that I am far from naïve; inexperienced nor gullible. Reminds me of Longfellow Deeds now that I’m writing this, but art is life. We are as horrific and wonderful as we are portrayed in films. All at once.

I learned to give not because I have much, but because I know exactly how it feels to have nothing.

Dan is on an on-field job since last week in Bali and we haven’t had much communication since. His work needs him awake by 4 o’clock in the morning and knocks him out by the time he returns to the hotel. All is good though; sustenance is good.

Adding a note on my uni/work life, I have been incredibly fortunate. Things go very, very bad (eg.: interviewees pulling out after confirmations), but opportunities mushroom before I can feel horrid about it, so I’m guessing I must be doing something right.

Many a time, we stop dreaming when we realise the societal constructs that caged us before we knew how to ‘fly’. We trade our intangible talents for general acceptance; we conform; we detach ourselves from reality to fit in the carefully-detailed concepts of lifestyles. Yet, we all question how real/superficial another is. How are any of us any different?

I’d like to say I discovered what that would cure all our social theory failures, but you knew it already, don’t you? Bruce says the only help is self-help. I trust him, so should you.

There are so many ways to be our real selves because all humans are incredibly gifted. We just have to beware of getting ‘educated out of creativity’. We all know that it is more convenient to conform but I trust you know ‘easy come, easy go’. One day, everyone would wake up and start asking how instead of why and then we will want to work hard to actually realise our dreams.

Dream courageously,
because you don’t need planning permission to build castles in the sky.

When the going gets tough, the tough gets going. So here’s something to get you through before the tough goes:

The ratio is 3:2 so it will be fitting for iPhone wallpapers. Yes, this is one of the few I came up with over last night’s short episode of insomnia.

不要灰心。明天會更好。

I am told that all food at Cameron Valley’s Bangsar Tea House is homemade AND delivered from the highlands itself. (Except, of course, the seafood bits.) I really like the environment in Cam Highlands as its a more organic way of living, but being in this era and at age 21 now, I guess I’ll have to make do with Klang Valley and the bustling schedules.

#1

#2 Nepalese Momo’s (6 pieces) (fried) (you can have them steamed too)

If I am not mistaken, most of the tea house’s kitchen and floor staff are from Nepal – which is why the sudden Nepalese punctuation in the menu roll.

I thought the filling (minced chicken, cabbage, masala powder) and homemade tomato dip was complementing one another but the crusts were rather inconsistent, but I believe that the finesse of this dish will come with time and experience.

#3 Smoked salmon salad

#4

This salad dish could have tasted more welcoming with a different ratio of mixed greens and salmon. Would have also been better with slightly heavier vinaigrette dressing and parmesan.

#5 Black shadow sandwich

#6

This one was a bit tricky to eat because it was too easy to get messy. The chewiness of the beef was almost making me waste the sauteed mushroom and caramelised onion (they tasted so good with the beef)! I’ve had this each time I was there since.

#7 Doughnut sandwich

#8

This is a MUST-TRY, because of the convenient size and satisfying combination of flavours! The one I tried was chicken ham, pancetta, scrambled eggs, mushroom and mozzarella cheese!

This takes the top spot for me. Easy eating, filling portion, satisfying flavours and above all, healthy. Perfect for people who are always on-the-go. It was absolutely DELISH. How could a doughnut sandwich be so delicious?

#9 Pesto prawn pasta

The pesto, the pesto – I think it would be an acquired taste. The taste is strong and pretty solid but it reminded me of some people I know who only likes their pasta bland and with cheese. No, that’s not the only way to have pasta!

#10 Aglio olio pasta (chicken)

#11 Homemade scones (2 pieces)

AWESOME! It’s hot from the oven and the jam served together is also homemade. Must have it quick tho, scones are not meant to be eaten cold, I kid you not.

#12 A pot of lemongrass tea

Consumption of tea is beneficial to health, no surprise there, but I wish there are more places with more flavours like Cameron Valley so that I can try more… There are so many types of tea to choose from when I am there, and I will make the effort to try them all because I enjoy tea. House specialty, local specialty, classics, fruit-flavoured, green tea, health infused tea and chilled ones too. I’m determined to try their TEA FLOATS the next time. I am curious of the taste and texture.

Find out more about the tea categories here.

#13

Other than serving the tea and food, they sell the tea in packets too (duh). There are seriously too many types and if you, like me, is not too sure which flavour and texture of tea you like best, I suggest you dine there, have a try at the variety before making purchase on the packets to have at home or the office.

The only other place I’ve seen selling Cameron Valley packs is Jaya Grocer in Empire Shopping Gallery.

#14

#15

#16

Interior wise, I thought the place was cosy with beanbag corners and sufficient spaces in between tables to maintain privacy. The walls were decorated with photographs and pictures that described the history of Cameron Bharat Plantations. Colour schemes of furniture are a bit cluttered but not much distraction to the bigger picture.

#17

I really prefer to know where my food comes from and how it is prepared. I have been back two times since I went there the first time already.

Photos of Cameron Valley Tea are here on Flickr.

CAMERON VALLEY TEA, BANGSAR
28, Jalan Telawi 5
Bangsar Baru 59100 KL
Malaysia
+60 3 2202 2155
Facebook Site Online store for TEA

Opening hours:
10am-10pm daily!

One thing about the work politics here, and I must add that I appreciate it a lot, is how being a girl does not make my work valued any less. I work, and I work hard. Because I believe that any JOB job is never about a pretty face.

I digress.

My resignation only pronounces how incredibly exciting it was for me to go in for my shift and new ideas grow in my mind. I learned many things because, honestly, what job do not require you to be an all-rounder nowadays?

I wrote the hereon in two months ago, when I just returned from Melbourne.

/////

When I began going for public cupping sessions at De Clieu, I was already searching for places in Klang Valley that I can keep up the learning process about coffee and I found close to nothing. It’s really difficult to learn about something practically if it’s not available.

Luckily for me, Malaysia is beginning to pick up with coffee culture. I hope to be able to have public cupping sessions in Klang Valley. I’d try to push it to whomever I see opportunities to do this with. I desperately want better demand for coffee here, so people would need to be more educated about coffee first and foremost.

#1 Flat white

#2 Three quarter latte

Whisk uses Yellowbird Seasonal Espresso Blend of Oriole (Singapore). The first sip of either reminded me of Seven Seeds Blend but lacked the aroma and finesse that will come with time and experience. Oriole’s taste is undeniably creamy and silky smooth. The froth was perhaps a little overdone because there was a blanket of micro-bubbles beneath the seemingly flawless pour. I also expected the three quarter latte to be a little stronger but I didn’t realise that Whisk uses mugs for lattes.

I only had take-away’s from Whisk before this and they were macarons for Sis. (I am ALWAYS doing take-away’s for this child! ) I recall them to be dainty. I’d prefer it not to be THAT sweet because the flavours could be overpowered when it is too sweet. Whisk’s macs are still distinctly flavoured. The best macs in Klang Valley is from Nathalie’s Gourmet Studio.

[And me, being such an asshole for always criticising where our food comes from, I'm happy to know all cakes and macs are homemade in the owners' kitchen! Comes in fresh every morn!]

Whisk is also one of the dozen places we can find The Last Polka ice-creams.
My fave: A LOT!

#3 Red Velvet. Mom never had it before, so we tried it. Rather bland for me but I’m more interested in the Granny’s cake. Next time.

[Having worked there now, I'd like to add that Granny's cake is my FAVE cake at Whisk.]

The cakes were of very generous slices and I really like that about desserts at dine-ins because I’ve been too often served irregular slices that becomes thinner at each order. If I pay X amount for cake, I want the X amount’s worth. It’s even more appalling if the slices of different sizes are then placed back together on the mounting after being ‘wrapped’ with aluminium foil at the base. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!

#4 Dessert bar

#5

#6 Yes, before you enjoy your coffee, try sipping it without sugar!

The interior was rustic with an urban glitch. It was very warm, entirely. The lighting and placement of stools and benches relocates Whisk from a shopping mall to a laneway in Brooklyn or Fitzroy. It has that kind of feel to it. It really draws me to WANT to spend my afternoon just having a long and heart-warming catch-up session with an old friend.

[Which I do now, with my laptop. ]

Anyway, I’d think the atmosphere would blend beautifully with some young Jo Stafford jazz music, though I’ve been more inclined towards Fun. and this song is like a broken record in my mind this week:

All photos here and more of Whisk can also be found in my set here on Flickr.

WHISK KL, SUBANG JAYA
LG-3A Empire Shopping Gallery
Jalan SS16/1 47500
Petaling Jaya SEL
Malaysia
+60 3 5022 2060
Site & Twitter

Opening hours:
10am-10pm daily!