Magic Dust
July 27, 2009
When you sprinkle truth into the sea, they turn into fantasies.
That smell in the breeze will take your breath away, it will steal your heart. You fall in love like a spell was cast. You will want to sleep under those stars because they are like a match made in heaven with the sound of the waves.
Like you and I.
Like you and I.
But one day will come, when there will be nothing left but those truth you sprinkled into the sea. Just the truth.
Nothing like you and I.
Nothing like you and I.
Who Are You Kidding, God?
July 12, 2009
I find myself in a green Getz with the company of honest opinions (thank you) and Tiger. My shield sort of just melted through the cracks. I can see the word ‘vulnerable’ written right across my forehead with ‘neon-pink glow-in-the-dark paint’. I must have looked so foolish; being emotional and hesitant. It was painful and more when I had to admit it as I told my story.
A lot of things do not make sense to me now. I am trying to understand the problem but it just won’t reveal itself to me. The problem just keeps on growing more painful to endure, stomping on any perseverance that is left. Will putting in more effort solve the problem? Maybe I can shut my heart out till the right time but there might never be a right time.
Some Like Lies Better
July 8, 2009
Sometimes I tell the truth and people take offense. I am not sorry for it. I am sorry for them.
Chase
June 9, 2009
Midnight sits at my patio. Unmoved. Still. Rooted. The only motion is the endless threads of breeze that run through my hair. In this quiescence, I hear my own thoughts.
誰比你重要 成功了敗了也完全無重要
誰比你重要 狂風與暴雨都因你燃燒
The time between 3am and 4am, this very pensive hour, is like an hour of the twenty-four in a day that doesn’t move. The hands in a clock skips all the ticking and jumps just from three to four. Everything happens in one long second. It’s like that.
In this wistful one long second of today, I question myself, of my faith — Am I faithful? What shapes my faith? What do I actually have faith in, really? Faith, is a funny thing. It doesn’t need logic nor proof to be performed. It doesn’t demand any solid reasoning. You just have to believe. And everything will fall into your ear like balm
I have faith that I will find you. As long as I follow these footprints you left on the beach, I will find you. I know not where they lead to nor when it will end, but I will find you. At the end of it all, I will find you. As long as I have faith, I will find you. The waves are throwing themselves onto the shores like a nostos is being celebrated. It is going to wash off the trail. The footprints will be barely visible. But as long as I have faith, I will find you. The sun and stars will be my companion till I am with you. They are lovely, but I need a love that converse fluently with me in both chaos and silence. A love that debates fiercely for rationality yet holds proudly onto the same faith that will help me find you. I will find you.
有了你即使平凡卻最重要
Tell me that I will. Because when I find you, I will find love. I will find true happiness. I will find what really matters in life when I find you.
一追再追 只想追趕生命裡一分一秒
原來多麼可笑 你是真正目標
一追再追 追蹤一些生活最基本需要
原來早不缺少… 只得你
會叫我彷彿人群裡最重要
有了你即使沈睡了 也在笑
I Love You But I Am Jealous
April 21, 2009
This is my second glass of iced lemon tea. Back at The Athena to try out new dishes, but when I sat myself down with the comfortable pillows inside here, I realised that I just wanted iced lemon tea. So I am precariously leeching WiFi off the opposite Starbucks. Haha. I remember the previous evening I was in the building – chatters over Famous Star, laughs over the tasteful fries, careful allusion over iced lemon teas. I did not realise I was so hungry and thirsty but I was. Iris was telling me about Serena and Aaron’s breakup. Why, I thought. There must be a cause, or must there? Hah, but there was!
The insinuated person happens to be Emily who also ‘recently became close friends’ with Aaron’s best friend, Jason who is attached to Iris who frequently Messengers with Emily. The background here is that Emily has the reputation of being a major flirt and knows the ropes in making a guy really, reeeally like her. In a snap of fingers too. In fact, Aaron apparently has something going on with her but so far, there’s not solid evidence. So Iris is concerned that her relationship with Jason will get burnt with too much worries and jealousy and arguements… all related to Emily. Iris tries very hard not to be bothered but there will always be a voice in our heads that tell us to be cautious, no? There’s no allegations proven but the itch is there. And it is really itchy.
Scenarios of such always remind me of another unfortunate one. Jackson who is a really close friend of Mandy, was forbidden to make contact with female all of a sudden because his new girlfriend, Nikki, did not approve. He tried to seek advice for this problem from Mandy who helped Jackson court Nikki in the first place. When Nikki found out he spoke to Mandy, she breathed fire for weeks and caused conflagration to Jackson’s will to make her happy again. Then… she confiscated his phone. She let him use hers, but only to dig till the details of all the numbers he ever rang or texted. When Jackson is away to answer a call, she rings Mandy up and a session of interrogation will start. So I’ve heard, Nikki did not sound nice due to the major combo of being an overly-paranoid panic and an obsessive possessive agressed foetus-brained child.
These two plays, my friends, are two distinct types of jealousy. The Iris-Jason-Emily one is jealousy based on caution. Iris trusts Jason but she can’t trust Emily. Iris tries to reasonable and confides in friends in search of solutions. She does not want to make a scene or to be known as a psycho-girlfriend like Nikki. The Mandy-Jackson-Nikki one is jealousy based on immaturity. Nikki trusts no one and she is one ball of confusion herself. Only if Nikki could’ve given more thoughts to her actions, Jackson might not have moved on so fast and gotten himself a new chick now. Hah, eat dirt, Nikki! All these relationship polygons can happen to anyone anywhere. My opinion is that people are not as honest now. They might not mean what they say entirely but they will say it just to fill in voids in conversations or just to humour. So people also become afraid to believe.
I, for one, am a believer and I believe that in order to have hope, we have to believe. Even if it puts me in a vulnerable position. And aren’t hope all we’ve really got? So… :)))
